Living the High Life

Utah. I am here for work. I’ve recently been informed that we will be standing on a box for 4 hours. This is an excruciating amount of time. Yes, I am aware it is not coal mining nor is it rocket science. But this f’ing blows. In all honesty, I am used to getting paid to sit around waiting to walk on a runway for a combined 1.3 minutes, maybe less.
This recession thing is really kicking my spoiled, over-payed ass. We work for a client, a big department store. They fly us around the country and we prance around for rich folk in the name of marketing and charity. I have been to such glamorous places as Detroit, Fort Lauderdale, and, today, Salt Lake City. When people were actually still contributing to this economy buying expensive designer goodies, we were treated to such hotels as The Westin (functional and clean and business friendly) and The Mandarin Oriental (giggle-inducing extravagant).
Currently I am sitting in the Crystal Inn, a twenty-five minute ride from the airport into the middle of absolute nothingness. The driver of my courtesy shuttle informed me that this was the only Crystal Inn that provided both a complimentary hot breakfast and as well as a light dinner because of their extreme distance from anything resembling food. If we lose contact from the rest of the world, I will most certainly die. After, of course, the breakfast and light dinner rations deplete and the convenience store is raided.
I suppose I shouldn’t complain though. I am watching a news special on Tanya Harding and what she has been up to since ruining someone’s Olympic career. She pulls a giant trout out of a lake yelling “Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!” Oh, Tanya. You are just as high class as ever and I am so happy that I am stuck in Salt Lake City with no where to go and crappy news stations with twelve year old irrelevant news.

This is apparently an image of the whirling jacuzzi tub in the super suite, which was, unfortunately not in the budget this trip.


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