A Poem from Claire Jane

The following is by a dear, wonderful friend of mine by the name of Miss Claire Jane Wolterman.  She sent me this in a creative response to a blog I had written that made me think of amazing women such as herself.  And so, I bring you Claire.

no one leaves me go for certain+


my ache.

of where my

heart is suppose

to be chained.

i feel un

announced.

that i stepped before those that

left the train.

me by the side

pushing to get in.

and those faces.

of disgust.

looking upon

my wrong move.

she did it again.

she is too eager.

she is too lame.

she is unwanted.

and i say.

hey.i am growing.but why everyday do i feel ashamed.

and then no more. i say.

look. i’m taking my vitamins.

look. i’m  folding my clothes.

or at least hanging them in one pile.

and nobody knows. it doesnt show.

and hey.i stopped after my second glass.

oh and i can get by

with four hours and still pass

as somewhat

of

a

human

being.

and words still come out.and i may be sharp half the time.

but those other places. that no one sees.

but me.

those i keep hidden.

my other shes.

you can’t believe

what you feel

because someone

will steal away

your moment

and say

what?

no matter what occurs

you look out for you.

and i look out for i.

always waiting for the sentence that begins at but.

it’s never real.

only in that

moment.

discard after one use-

i am a one time

piece

that looks more expensive.

but i am cheap.

i cheapen myself with these thoughts of lasting.

everything i see

deter mines me

deters me

my bathroom is

never clean

not my hair on

floor

but i shower to be

cleansed to

be dirty

yet again.

why cant i accept

my insecurity

my imperfections

be.

half of the days

i wake

wanting to be

somebody else

half of the other

days

i can’t remember

my foggy mind

if i tried to

be somebody

else.

obsolete

days

of

feeling

fine.

what are those?

a fresh sandwich

on a baguette

eaten on a windy day

with a scarf

tied whimsically

to me

and a smile

passed

between

company.

perhaps.

+clairejane.

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